From MUMOKI HQ: Things we are working on, reading, listening to or consuming.
A running list to keep you up to date, inspired and engaged with the world while you are being a mum.
Just a thought.
When a Mum says she needs a break, she does NOT mean…
a) grocery shopping without the kids
b) cleaning the house with kid helpers
c) running errands without little passengers
d) taking the kids to do something fun without her when she has to miss out to do any of the above.
e) having a bath or shower alone (we can still hear the screaming)
These are not breaks, these are her tasks made slightly easier and only increase her “mum guilt” because she still needs a break but has been told she got one. Help from partners is not a luxury and basic hygiene is not self-care.
Yesterday was a big day for me. I took the whole day off work (both mum life and Mumoki life), watched a tonne of tv (Henry Cavill in The Witcher on Netflix is definitely binge-able ????) played with my son, went for a walk and discovered the most AH-mazing block of chocolate EVER invented! Hey Tiger you complete me. ????In what started out as just one little piece and saving the rest to share with my husband, may or may not have turned into the entire block. But I was like, F*** it! It’s my day off! I would highly recommend you do the same thing asap. And if ANYONE dares to give you shit about it, be that your partner, your own self talk or your own mother, tell them it’s all in the name of #selfcare.
Happy new year mamas! Took some of Marie’s advice and have added a Services Directory to the website. Check it out here.
You may be traveling this week with the kids for the holidays, eating your weight in Rocky Road or just chillin’ in the backyard with a G&T. But I couldn’t let this week go by without saying this: Thank you.
Thank you to anyone who saw my MUMOKI t-shirt and stopped me to connect for a minute.
To anyone who read one of our newsletters, or Insta posts, or stories, and found something useful. And to anyone who took the time to reply or reach out to us with an idea or suggestion.
To anyone who went for a mani pedi and came to the realisation that the shame and the guilt around taking time out for yourself is something we’re taught … and therefore something we can start to shake off.
To anyone who brought another mother along with them — through talking about their experience with anxiety, being that person in their network, or just having their backs.
To anyone who’s been on this journey with us.
This past year, this community of MUMOKI Mamas has grown beyond my wildest dreams, into something remarkable.
I can’t wait to share 2020 with you.
Happy New Year!
Finally spending some time with my nose in a book. Check out Marie Forleo’s Everything is Figureoutable. Reading it now is the perfect timing to ring in the new decade.
If you have watched the Netflix doco ‘Game Changers” then you should definitely follow it up by listening to this podcast between James and Susie Cameron on the Tim Ferris Show. If you have seen any of his movies it’s unsurprising to find out that James Cameron can be a little alarmist sometimes when it comes to climate change (and for good reason in my opinion) but the way he communicates his choice to eat a plant based diet and not be “vegan… coz they are all assholes” is worth listening to.
You MUST watch Kim Kardashian West Breaking Down 21 Looks From 2006 to Now on Vogue‘s Youtube channel IMMEDIATELY. Even if you don’t like the Kardashians, I think you’ll find this video interesting because it’s a fab mixture of fashion, trends, nostalgia and pop culture moments. Kim’s approach to her time in the public eye is quite refreshing, and despite wanting to mostly appear super intellectual, I cannot deny that I do love this kind of thing sooooo much.
TODAY is Day 1 of Perinatal Mental Health Week
To the mother who replies “I’m fine”, when she is asked.
But really she is not fine. In fact, she is struggling.
She is hanging by a thread.
She is overwhelmed by her new role.
She is struggling with her identity.
She is desperately seeking that rhythm in her new normal.
She is 1 in every 5 of us.
The sleepless nights.
The piles of washing.
Whether she is breastfeeding, pumping or bottle feeding.
Every essence of her being is focused on this being, her baby.
Yet, she doesn’t know why her life doesn’t look perfect, like the mothers in the magazines, and social media feed.
Why are they happy, and got it together yet she doesn’t?
Is she a failure?
So she buries herself into her struggles, crying, and questioning her worth as a mother.
The stigmas are still attached to perinatal depression and anxiety. Let’s start listening to what is not being said.
I’m on the plant based food bandwagon thanks to the new Netflix doco “Game Changers” and this week I even made my husband eat Tofu. It’s a whole new world but a surprisingly delicious one. This is the first recipe we made and we both loved it. I don’t know how I feel about giving up my morning cappuccino though….
Amy Schumer’s comment on going back to work: “5 months today and like all moms I love him so much it hurts. Im feeling strong and good and like I’m still a human being with interests and ambitions and goals I’m excited to reach. It’s felt good to be back at work. I was so worried about it and was afraid to go back after he was 3 months old. A couple days I’ve cried from missing him. But it’s mostly good to be back and the breaks energise me to be a better mom and appreciate our time even more. I have it a lot easier than many people but I wanted to share my experience.”
The honest conversation between Alison Rice and Rachelle Rowlings in the OFFLINE podcast is fantastic. Yes they discuss life as an “influencer” (ergh that word makes my skin crawl) but also morality, motherhood and life with an older man.
Keeping Harvey Weinstein’s Secrets – Part 1 and Part 2. The 2 journalists who first broke the Harvey Weinstein story for the NY Times and were at the centre of the Me Too movement have just released a book about the bigger story and in it, uncovered information about two feminist icons — Gloria Allred and her daughter, Lisa Bloom who helped cover up Weinstein’s crimes. The NY Times The Daily Podcast covers it all and it’s so good.
It’s NYFW and Rebecca Minkoff just showed a breastfeeding mother in her presentation (while also going between a baby monitor and a computer monitor, naturally). I suddenly feel underdressed.
This affects new dads more than you might think. Postpartum depression doesn’t only affect women. According to research, new fathers can suffer the same symptoms — and if their partners are suffering from postpartum depression, as many as 25% of new fathers may also experience it! We also wrote about it here.
Fashion brain meet Business brain in Life’s work: An interview with Vera Wang from the Harvard Business Review